Never give up

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Can I be honest with you? There are days where I feel completely out of it. I mean low down in the dumps. Sometimes, I think about all the things I thought I’d have accomplished by now. I was suppose to be a successful writer, my social media presence was suppose to have sky rocketed, I’d have become a full time entrepreneur, bought a house— blah, blah, blah.

I had dreams—a vision for my life that I’m not seeing now. I can’t lie, I’ve whined and cried about it. Honestly, I sometimes get so heart broken about where I’m at now, that I forgot where I’ve been. It can be hard to look around and fully grasp the extent of actual success because we think success is a brand new car wrapped up in a giant bow.

Not all success can be measured by some huge act, event, or object. A year ago, I had just started a new job almost two months after I left a toxic relationship. I had about $40 to my name around this time last year, which I used to catch the bus with my then two and three year old daughters. I didn’t even know how to drive and I was living at my cousin’s house. Now, I’ve been at my job a year, I got my license, got a car, I have my own place, and I’m working on my second fictional book.

I can’t deny that even though I had an idea of what my life was suppose to be, what I’ve overcome is extremely impressive. Slowly, I’m realizing that my life is coming together but God had to get the important things done first. I just kept pushing, I kept going despite all my hurdles. I know that if I continue to push for more, I’ll get more. I simply can’t give up. In the mist of the storm it’s hard to see let alone imagine the sunshine but it will come again.

I hope that whatever it is you may be facing, you keep going strong. And like always, ((HUGGS & LOVE))

 

The struggle of creating a freelance writing career

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Over two and a half years ago, I decided that I wanted to become a blogger in attempts to take writing more seriously. Initially, I never intended or cared to make money from or through my blogs. At the time, just being able to write something constantly was amazing to me. I got to connect with so many great people and share my life and imagination with them.

What I really wanted to do at that time was get a feel for writing regularly so I could get in the grove of writing my fiction books. I also created a Short story blog in order to get comfortable with creating new worlds and see if my writing sucked so I could give it up if people hated it. 😂 Luckily, no one had any bad things to say and I was creating new short stories every week.

Soon after creating my blogs, I learned that I could make money from my blogs so I got excited. I knew I had to grow my audience for this, so I researched how to grow my audience steadily. Really all I had to do was create content and interact with other bloggers but I just “knew” I could find some magic formula for that somewhere. I began to focus more on the what if’s and ended up neglecting my blogs terribly. Throw a crazy relationship and kids in the mix and soon the idea of having a successful blog was a fantasy.

Through my many hours of researching, I found that I could submit fiction and nonfiction stories to magazines and other blogs and get paid. So once I got my writing mojo back, instead of writing for myself, I began writing solely with the hopes of getting published and paid by larger platforms so they could tell all their readers about my blogs— my dead blogs. I did write on my blogs here and there but kept the good stuff for submitting elsewhere.

I submitted my work constantly. Rejection after rejection came in especially with my personal essays, the very same essays that I initially wrote to share on my personal blog. The tone just wasn’t right—great story though. That’s basically what everyone was saying. I went through stages of grief getting those rejections. I must really suck, went through my mind every time. It’s not like my freelance career didn’t yield me any income BUT every…single…thing I planned on putting on my blog first was getting rejected. I was crushed.

Then it hit me. Where can I get published? How can I submit without the fear of rejection? “Work with what you have”, came to mind. My blog! That’s where it all started. Sharing my story as an aspiring entrepreneur mom was the entire point of my blog. The ups and downs of motherhood and making money outside of a 9-5 was a journey I wanted to go on with my readers. Crazy how the very same place I ran from is the one place where I knew I’d be accepted. Forget the money, I want to be to be loyal to what I intended to be a genuine representation of my life, not some fluff pieces about parenting and pregnancy being a walk in the park surrounded by bunnies and rainbows.

I won’t stop submitting my short stories and fiction writing but every personal piece will only be shared on this blog. I’m sure they won’t always get rejections but I think I rather share my real truth without the possibility of getting published and still get some of my work edited out to appease readers that might not want to read the TRUE realities of other parents. Sorry, I cannot be silenced.

All of this isn’t to say that other writers won’t find success writing about their lives. This is my experience. I don’t want to mold my life in a cookie cutter way because I’m afraid that others will find it to difficult to understand. Life for me has been HARD. As a mother, I’ve been through so many painful things. So, because my readers have been so supportive, I rather share it with all of you with hopes that sharing could help someone in their own life.

Thank you so much for reading and as always ((HUGGS & LOVE))

Lost in the choas

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I don’t always feel like a complete failure but when I do, the voices in my head chanting my defeat are deafening. A crippling sense of  utter disaster overtakes me. For a moment I feel suspended in time, then as my heart begins to race, I’m thrusted into a fast paced world of terror.

What does that all mean? It means that you are not alone. Yes, YOU! You know you’ve been there. We all go through times in our lives that leave us breathless for all the wrong reasons. It’s okay to feel claustrophobic out in the open. Some cages can’t be seen.

Society today is unapologetically unaware of all the pressures individuals like me face. Or they blatantly don’t care. Parents, minorities, adults and children in school, people who are told they are way too skinny or way too fat— the list goes on and on, these are societies redheaded step children. Everyday people  deal with seemingly normal problems that they supposedly should be able to fix on their own.

But heres the thing, being on their own is the problem. Mothers can’t express how much they suffer while trying to raise a child without being judged. School kids face pressure from their parents, peers, and social media to be perfect. With no where to turn, many struggle in silence.

You hear it all the time, “It could be worse.” “Someone else has it worse.” That doesn’t make another person’s situation any less of a difficulty. And since when are we in the business of comparing hardships?

I can admit that there’s been moments where I wanted to fade away into the shadows because coming to the realization that my life was a mess, was too hard. Have you ever felt that way? Even your dreams seem comical and unattainable. You have this feeling of not being good enough, so everything that comes from your head seems like a wasteful fantasy.

Time…time is all we need to recenter ourselves, to get our life back on track. A moment of clarity and some positive affirmations to bring our confidence back. Truth is, support is not always easy to come by and at times you’ll have to pull yourself up by the bootstraps and it’s going to be hard!

I found myself watching the social media craziness between James Charles and others. The way he spoke, made it seem like the events that transpired gave him thoughts of ending his life. I don’t know him nor did I ever watch his videos before but what he said hurt. It pains me when anyone so overcome by grief thinks not living is a proper solution to their problems.

This great big world can feel so empty and cold. It doesn’t matter if you’re famous or a regular joe. Struggle is guaranteed. I had to learn this the hard way.

If you read my last post and are now reading this one, you might be wondering what the heck is happening to me. Well, reflection happened. I’m a mess but I’ve stumbled upon others who also frequent Hot Mess Avenue and I found it only right to express my thoughts for the sake of helping someone else.

You are awesome!  You can do it! You, my friend, are not alone in this. Everyone goes through some sort of battle and yours is not to be minimized. When doubt fills your head, remember that you have the power to overcome anything. You are STRONG! Hurt doesn’t make you less of a bad ass. Remember all the times you made it through a difficult situation and know you’ll get through anything that comes your way!

 

As always ((HUGGS & LOVE))

It’s been a while

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Hello, to you! It’s been such a long time since I’ve written a blog post. Between having a job, raising kids, and dealing with a more-often-than-not difficult ex, I’ve been BUSY! It’s hard coming back to a place I feel so at peace at knowing I was neglecting it.

A lot has happened in the last few months and I’m finally ready to share. I’ll probably break everything down subject or rather struggle by struggle. Things have not been easy but God has blessed me a great deal.

Now, what about you? How have you been?

Building a strong Blog

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I know my blog is like a small beach shack  on a deserted island compared to the mammoth size mansion blogs out there. Even so, I know exactly what makes a blog thrive. Obviously content is important but it doesn’t matter how great your content is if no one sees it. When I first started my blog, I wrote a post then flung my arms open like, “Come to me!” It was like an ant expecting a giraffe to see it’s footprints.

Like I said in an earlier post, building connections and interacting with others was the most vital part of having a successful blog. Granted, I learned this over a year ago and my blog following is still pretty small. That would be my fault. I haven’t been blogging and visiting my fellow bloggers as much as I should.

Unless you have a super big following, your blog is like a cave in the woods that people might stumble upon if they past your way. You have to crawl out of your hole in search of human life! That’s probably my favorite part about blogging. It feels good to have people see your post but when you are able to find someone else’s post or blog site and just feel a connection to what they are saying, it feels awesome.

You have to take the time to get out there and give others feedback instead of just hoping to get it for yourself alone. It’s a give an take. A mutual respect amongst writers. You took the time to read my post so I’ll do the same. This has been the best lesson I’ve learned since I began blogging. I personally believe in quality not quantity; if you have a few followers but they visit your page regularly it’s a win. It means that you’re not just a one hit wonder with them.

If you ask most bloggers, they’ll agree that blogging is more of a marathon rather than a sprint. It takes time to get it to where you’re fully satisfied. It also takes time to really come into your own and what better feeling is there than having your early followers come along on the journey. Equally, don’t be turned off by new comers. Share the love and support and even give them  some tips if you like.

How to build a strong blog? By building strong relationships, by sharing your time with your fellow bloggers, and giving valuable feedback on the post you read. It’s about spreading the interest you wish to receive. Blogging is not for the selfish. It’s a community…an extended family.

Like always guys ((HUGGS AND LOVE))

 

I need to write more!

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Lately, my brain has been working really hard at not working at all. My desire to do things become squashed by my overactive imagination. I like to write…No, I LOVE to write. That’s why it’s  funny and even strange that I haven’t been writing as much as I use too. I’ve slacked off quite a bit. Okay, a lot.

I don’t know what the heck is wrong with me. I don’t lack ideas, I simply lack will. In January, I wrote my first full book. I’ve been writing books for years but never finished them. I finish them in my head and then don’t want to bother myself with writing it on paper. It feels like I’ve watched a movie then have to watch it again but this time take notes. Anyway, I wrote the book in a week’s time. Whenever my girls napped, I wrote. Sometimes I’d stay up until three in the morning writing. That’s why now I don’t know what’s different. I can’t even write for an hour.

I haven’t even been blogging! My blog is dear to me and it has  given me so much joy but I do find it has taken a backseat to my uninteresting life. I have more time now to write and yet it seems like I have none at all. I begin to write then abandon the entire thing. Once again, not for lack of ideas but lack of will and desire.

I need to get back into the groove of things. Rebuild my romance with writing. I need to express myself and open myself up to feelings outside of my everyday routine of emotions. I guess it’s a reflection of my personal life. I am stressed  and it is depressing. Not like “I need meds depressing” but more of a “cut my a break, life is touch!” I can’t continue like this. I can’t just not write because my life’s a mess. Heck, that’s the best time to write.

I miss it all very much. It’s like a friend you haven’t seen in years but when you meet up, nothing’s changed. As I write, I feel so empowered. It’s amazing what a little self expression can do. Giving up something you love doing is a BIG mistake! You can go a little bonkers. I think that’s why I was in a slump. I didn’t write for a while so I didn’t want to start writing again because I was feeling down but maybe I was feeling down because I wasn’t writing. Make sense?

I needed to get that off my chest. As I write this my daughters are sleeping on my chest. Lol. Just like old times. It feels completely natural to be up late, pouring my heart out as my daughters sleep. It’s 12 am now so I think I’ll join them.

Thanks for reading ((Hugs and Love))