I don’t always know what to say
At times I can’t put into words how I feel. There’s no amount of explaining I could do to express myself fully. I’m a mom, so you can imagine I use words daily…every waking second it seems. Yet, there are moments where I find myself speechless.
Maybe it’s the rollercoaster of life or the intensity of motherhood—maybe none of the above and it’s simply my overthinking that throws me through loops time and time again. It’s not easy to admit that I tend to panic during difficult moments. I worry and create scenarios in my head that I fear might happen. Thoughts about life, family, friendships, and parenting are always wrapped up in a chaotic imaginary bow.
My mind has a lot on it but I can’t speak a word
Sometimes I have no words because I’m trying to figure out how to stop the scenarios in my brain from happening. I know as God peeks at my thoughts he probably thinks to himself, “I didn’t give her creativity for this.” I’ve honestly asked him what did he expect when he gave me such a wonderful imagination? I doubt it was to create make-believe tragedies but here I am.
There have been moments where even with a million things going on in my mind, I have nothing to say. God has found me on quite a few occasions fumbling over what to utter. When that happens, I think about Romans 8:26, KJV: “Likewise the Spirit also helpeth our infirmities: for we know not what we should pray for as we ought: but the Spirit itself maketh intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered.”
Even when all I can do is ugly cry, I’m still heard. It brings me such comfort to know that God had thought about us in such detail that he knew there’d be points in our lives when words are not enough. He knew that we’d be faced with situations that would knock the wind out of us and bring us to our knees with barely the ability to breathe. He was prepared. The Holy Spirit intercedes for us when we are at a loss for words. How humbling!
When you have no words, God can still hear you. He knows your heart. Don’t get caught up worrying about not being able to pray, go before God anyway. Even if you have the words but you can’t fully express them, God knows your heart. Psalm 44:21 Would not God find this out? For He knows the secrets of the heart.
Whether it’s under a moment of pressure or an ongoing struggle, I pray you find peace in knowing that God is fully aware of your needs even when you don’t say a thing. As always, hugs and love!
Dena is an author, content creator, and designer. She has been writing for four years. Outside of writing, she spends her time making memories with her wonderful children. Her ultimate goal is to live for the Lord and make it known through her work and life.