I remember growing up super poor. My mother always made our situation seem okay because she would say things like, “God will make a way. He’ll provide.” And though my younger self knew about God it was beyond my comprehension how God would provide us with food but he did. One Christmas we had no money for toys or food and my sisters and I had given up hope of having an enjoyable Christmas. I think I prayed and then figured God was too busy to help us. The day before Christmas, my mother’s carpentry teacher surprised us with a Christmas tree, toys, and food. He met my mother through class maybe 3 months before. A class my mother was never supposed to take but choose because her first choice wasn’t starting yet. Coincidence, I think not.
I’m a mother now, and there are days I cry and wonder how am I going to get this or that done. Money and resources are tight! One thing that never is tight is my constant need to pray. I pray about everything from not having to use the bathroom at work for #2(seriously) to how I’m going to make an income from my talent. It’s not easy for me to pray sometimes. Not because I don’t want to but because it feels like, “Hey, it’s me again.” It sometimes feels like I’m being a bother but what’s funny is whenever I think that my prayers go unanswered. Then I think that it was because I was never meant to have whatever it is I prayed for.
Even though I seem to forget at times, the prayers that get answered aren’t the ones where I beg God for anything but when I tell him I truly believe he will answer my prayers and I thank him for it. And let’s not forget when I demanded he give me a car and God answered my prayers!
Through so many crazy situations that there was no way I could get through but with a miracle, I had to put my full trust in him and let him give me what he wanted for me. I needed a car and I thought I’d get a beat up one that had 3 more years left in it but I got a brand new one. I needed an apartment and I thought that my sister and I would get the $900 Because we couldn’t afford the one over $1000 but here were are living in an almost $1300 apartment that by only the grace of God we can pay every month. When I was okay with settling, God slapped my outreached hand and said, “that’s too small, I want to give you something bigger.” I can’t lie in the moments of not getting what I prayed for right away, I felt like a little girl again. It felt like the days where I was so hungry and didn’t think we’d eat for days but out of nowhere someone would give my mother money or food they didn’t need. I had to believe with all my heart that there was something more God wanted to give me and waiting would not last forever but he’d deliver his perfect gift right on time.
In this time where I wonder about money and pray to get to gain income from my writing, I know that I just have to wait a little longer. He wants something big for me that I can’t see yet. I trust and believe that with everything in me.
I pray that if you are thinking about something that makes you want to give up, just pray and wait. Every door that’s meant to be opened will open. God bless. And as always((HUGGS & LOVE))