Author: Dena Felix

God is faithful even when we’re not

Encouraging, Faith

Thankfully, God’s grace is not dependent on whether we’ve earned it or not

Often times I think about how much God has done for me. It amazes me when I remember all the moments when I felt completely hopeless and God came in, like a superhero at the end of a movie, to save the day. If I had to count them, I’d run out of fingers and toes. Sometimes I was living solely for God but there have been times where I had strayed away a bit. Though I found myself in situations outside of God’s desire for me, He showed up anyway and helped me.

I believe we’ve all been there. We mess up and think, “God isn’t going to help me. I put myself in this mess.” But the God we serve is ever so wonderful that He blesses us even when we’ve gone against His will. Yes, it does hurt His heart when we stray away from Him but He loves us so much that He instantly welcomes us when we finally turn back to Him. We can find comfort in knowing that He is so good to us regardless of past transgressions. 

Romans 3:23-24 for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,24 and all are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.

God is faithful…despite our shortcomings

Motherhood gives me a better understanding of God’s grace and goodness. Once kids get to a certain age there are just some things they automatically know they’re supposed to do or not do. They know the way they are supposed to behave in public for example at the store and school can’t be the same way they behave at home in a casual setting. They know certain household tasks are their responsibility and they must do it. Of course, my kids are six and under but the idea remains the same. 

On a few occasions, I’ve told my kids to do something that a particularly awesome reward was attached to. Admittedly, they don’t always meet my expectations even with my specific instructions. I have to be completely honest and tell you that a lot of times they still get the reward. Isn’t that how God is with us more often than not? When He gives us directions on how to live and we come up short or do the complete opposite, He still gives us a blessing. He doesn’t do it because we deserve it but because He loves us and wants us to know that He’s a good father. 

Ephesians 2:8-9 For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast.

Psalm 103:10 He does not deal with us according to our sins, nor repay us according to our iniquities.

We serve a God whose favor is endless

One of the best things about God is that He is a loving parent. It doesn’t matter how many times we mess up, He always treats us with love. He wants the best for us and though sometimes we don’t go after the best for ourselves, He works it out in the end. God is faithful but He doesn’t have to be, He chooses to be.

How amazing is it to know that God’s desire for us to be okay is bigger than His desire for us to be perfect? He knew we’d struggle in life but He constantly gives us favor to offset our mistakes and guide us back to Him. He wants us to succeed and in spite of the times where we try to achieve success on our own when we failed once we go to Him, He’ll bless all of our endeavors.

Psalm 90:17
Let the favor of the Lord our God be upon us, and establish the work of our hands upon us; yes, establish the work of our hands!

We can trust that his faithfulness will always remain

A great example of God’s faithfulness is how He rescued the Israelites from Egypt and provided for them in the wilderness. Time after time He made miracles happen for His people. Though they had moments of doubt and sometimes complained, God continued to bless them and in the end, kept the promise He made to Abraham so long ago.

He could have given up on them or rejected them the way they rejected Him but he didn’t. When we act in ways that go against God’s desire He still stands with us. God is faithful to us even when we’re not. Even when we aren’t faithful to Him, He remains ready and willing to come to our rescue.

Nehemiah 9:33  In all that has happened to us, you have remained righteous; you have acted faithfully, while we acted wickedly.

We may lose our grip on God with sin or our unbelief but God never loosens His hold on us. Feelings of weariness and hopelessness might come upon us and cause us to do things that God doesn’t like yet He still helps us in our hour of need.

2 Timothy 2:13 If we are faithless, He remains faithful, for He cannot deny Himself.

I pray that no matter what challenges you face, you remember that God will always be faithful to you. You are never too lost for Him to find and never too far in the deep for Him to save. I hope that this post gave you much-needed encouragement and always, Hugs and Love!

 

Trusting God even when you don’t know what he’s doing

Encouraging, Faith

 

 

 

 

 

 

Often times, you’ll see that I compare my relationship with my kids to my relationship with God. My kids freak out easily, they can be very impatient at times, and they tend to question my judgment on things that I know best about. In the moments when I’m panicked and wondering what God has up his sleeve, I reference my kids and imagine God speaking to me the way I speak to them. “You’re alright”, “It’s going to be okay”, “I know what I’m doing.”

 

If I see it that way I’m fine. If my mind races past any kind of rational thinking, not even the connection to my kids can help me. I dislike being a blubbering mess. I don’t like feeling lost. Many times during prayer, I find myself crying the way my kids do when they need a nap or when they want a certain color cup.  I become dramatic. “But God, I don’t understand!” I have said this many times during my fear takeovers. For me, trusting God is a no-brainer but in moments of struggle, I admit it can be hard.

 

 

 

 

 

 

I’m not going to lie and say I’m always optimistic because I’m not. I fight off fear and anxiety multiple times a week. There’s always something lingering in the back of my mind. It sucks being creative when you’re also anxious. I have come up with so many crazy scenarios of doom in my head that I could probably be a great action or drama screenwriter. I sometimes feel God’s presence as I make up situations in my head. I can picture him telling me to relax. I only ever shrug and tell him he gave me a creative mind so what does he expect. 

He expects me to be still, to trust him. I have a hard time trusting my own judgment so when God tells me to trust him when I’m at the edge of a cliff, I find myself searching for a rope, a parachute, or a helicopter to get me out of there asap. Even though I know every hard time I go through is going to build my fate, I would rather skip it most times.

Trusting God isn’t always easy. I don’t always understand what he’s doing. At times I just wish he’d hurry and get me out of certain situations. Like any good parent, God does what’s best for us, whether we know it or not. There have been many times that I’ve had to watch as my kids cried while I clean their booboos. All they think about is the sting not realizing that the thing that causes the sting will help prevent them from getting something more serious(like an infection.) I’ve had to convince my kids, during ER visits, that the treatment they were getting was for their own good. They either trusted me and calmly went along with it or kicked and screamed and still had to go through it. 

Psalm 55:22
“Cast your cares on the Lord

and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous be shaken.”

I can either trust God and go along with his plan or put up a fight and still have to go through the difficult times just a lot more stressed. Truth is, having faith is wild. You hope for something that in the natural seems impossible. Trails and tribulations that seem to hit you back to back can be discouraging but it is better to look to God for help and strength than go it alone. Even when it seems hopeless and makes no sense to continue to believe in something keep the faith and trust that God will be by your side through it all. 

Grace wins

Encouraging, Faith

Have you ever found yourself at the end of a grudge match? You’ve battled with bitter, angry, and hateful feelings towards someone whose actions or words you dislike. Someone you cared about might have broken your trust. Maybe a disagreement turned nasty and now the idea of speaking to a certain family member, former friend, co-worker, or acquaintance drives you mad.

I’ve been there. I’ve carried warranted and unwarranted distaste for some people that have come into my life. I’ve harbored anger towards them, even resentment. 

As a believer in God, I still struggled with forgiveness. I’d forgive but not forget so when someone expressed or showed a desire to change, I saw it as comical. Really? Them, change? Never in a million years could that person change. 

I would list all the reasons why people didn’t deserve another chance. I told Jesus I was sorry but I wouldn’t allow myself to get struck on my other cheek willingly. I’d foolishly think, Jesus couldn’t possibly understand what it’s like to forgive someone who hurt him, someone who didn’t deserve it. Silly me. He understands it more than I could ever comprehend.

I was okay with grace as long as it was for me because I never did wrong. The things I did weren’t that serious compared to others. I was a hypocrite. 

James 4:6 says, But He gives more grace. Therefore it says, “God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble.” Every time I saw myself as above the people that hurt me or did me wrong, I was filled with pride. I had to question what good would it be if I continued to live like that?

I stopped looking at people in a whose sin is worse than mine, way. I accepted that some people really do change and even if they didn’t I had to love them anyway. I had to pray for them even if at first I’d grind my teeth together in an attempt to speak life unto their name. It was hard. I hated it. I hated praying for people that disrespected me. I wanted so badly to curse them out and put them in their places instead of pray. Whenever God would put it on my heart to pray, I’d roll my eyes and pout like a toddler. ”Why should I pray for them to have a good day when they just ruined mine, God?”

I came to the realization that the prayers we’re just as much for me as they were for the people that I was praying for. God was softening my heart. He was preparing me for the droves of people I would come in contact with that needed my prayers more than I need to prove a point. He was opening my eyes to see that if I wanted grace, I had to be willing to give it.

After all, I’ve changed. Who I am now is drastically different from who I was five years ago. It took work. It took a lot of self-reflection and acceptance that I wasn’t mentally and emotionally the person I should have been.  The woman I use to be rejected any idea that my temper was a problem or that my readiness to fight someone who gave me a little attitude was unhealthy. I wasn’t a mean person but I was very quick to anger and had no patience for disrespect. 

When I remember that part of myself it becomes easier to understand others. I don’t ride on my high horse acting as if I never needed to be forgiven. My past attitude had always affected the relationships I had with people and myself. And while there are times that I find myself in situations that test me, I don’t take things personally. I know that a person’s words and actions can come from a place of loneliness and pain much like mine once did. So when I’m questioned about why I continue to forgive people that have hurt me, I simply tell them that I myself have needed to be forgiven many times.

Grace is not something that we hold on to for dear life so that only we can reap its benefits. Grace is something we should share freely with others. And in the end, even if we still have strained relationships with the people who have done us wrong, our conscience will be clear and our hearts at peace.

 

As always guys, (HUGS & LOVE)


 

Book review: Skedaddle

Children

 

Book review – Skedaddle

 

 

Skedaddle is a children’s book wonderfully written by Jacqueline Leigh and beautifully illustrated by Erika Wilson. In this delightful book, you’ll meet the main character, Nellie. All Nellie wants to do is go to bed but she finds it impossible with the racket that’s going on above her head. Loud noises from an unwanted guest, who has decided to make a home in her attic, hinder her ability to fall asleep. Unfortunately for her, she is the only one troubled by the hubbub while the rest of her family is fast asleep. Nellie tries to find clever ways to get her new guest to quiet down. In the end, she solves the problem in an unexpected way.

 

Nellie can hear all the commotion in the attic

 

I read Skedaddle to my kids as soon as I got it. On the first page, the meaning of the word “Skedaddle” was explained which was great because my kids did ask what the word meant. I thought it was extremely helpful to have the word defined before the story started.

Almost immediately my kids were laughing hysterically. The illustrations really brought the story to life. I love the way this book is written because it gives the reader the ability to play around with how they read it. I made sure to be very dramatic when I said certain words and it had my children cracking up. There are big exaggerated words written next to the illustrations. And this book gets extra points for that because, after several reads, my kids were able to recognize which words were which. 

Nellie can’t take the noise anymore.

 

I find Nellie’s character to be so relatable and my kids weren’t shy about telling me how I sometimes look like her when I’m tired. What I love about her is that even though she really wants to rest, she tries very hard to remain kind and considerate. As a parent, I appreciate the underlying message of showing kindness no matter what. I also enjoyed the ending of this book because it was such a silly twist.

Skedaddle is a great book for children. My kids are two, four, and five years old and all of them love this story. I’ve read this book to them every day since I’ve gotten it. My kids ask me to read it to them as soon as they wake up and also as a bedtime story. During each reading, they laugh as if it’s their first time hearing it. They even run around the house saying “SKEDADDLE.”

I highly recommend this book! And if you would like to purchase it for your kids, it’ll be available on October 1st on Amazon. I’ll share the link to purchase then. Meanwhile, you can be apart of the SKEDADDLE: Virtual Launch Party by listing yourself as “Going.” As stated on the page, This will be your opportunity to get your hands on the first official copies of the book. All copies will be personalized and autographed!   You don’t want to miss that, so make sure to join and celebrate Skeddadle’s release with us.

I want to thank Jacqueline Leigh for allowing me to review her awesome book. Check out her website here.   And if you would like to follow her, head over to her Facebook and Instagram.  You can catch up on her work before Skedaddle‘s launch by purchasing her first two books Time for bed with Ford and Red and  The Spill.

Hoped you enjoyed this book review. As always (HUGS and LOVE!)

 

 

 

 

I believe in miracles

Encouraging, Faith, Motherhood

Bad things happen to us sometimes

Life has a way of throwing things at you when you least expect it. While good things happening are always welcomed, the thought of anything negative happening to us can be paralyzing. I’ve had my share of disastrous experiences but nothing could have prepared me for the challenge I’d face after surviving a horrific car accident. 

January 27, 2020, is a day I’ll never forget. For some reason that entire day I felt like listening to worship music and thanking God for all he’d done for me at that point. After leaving work with my twin sister and three young children, my sister and I kept talking about how blessed and grateful we were. We headed to the grocery stores to pick up some much-needed groceries. I got some stuff for my friend who had pneumonia and I also saw a jobless single mom that I’d helped from time to time and bought her a few things as well. I was happy to be in a position to give than a position of need. 

We can be in need within the blink of an eye

On the way to deliver the things I had gotten for my friend, once again my sister and I thanked God for everything and I do mean everything. We thanked him for our family, the food we had just bought, for the car I was driving, for the ability to give to others as much as we could. The entire drive was filled with praise. There was a level of peace that we felt. 

 

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About nineteen minutes into our drive, police cars went blazing down the street. We were in the right lane about two minutes away from our turn. A van that was all the way on the left lane slowly came over, slowed down, then stopped in front of us. We sat there for a couple of seconds before we heard what sounded like an explosion. At first, I felt disoriented. Everything looked hazy and I could see white and red around us. A few seconds later, another explosion. I had come to the realization that we were rear-ended and the impact caused us to then hit the van in front of us. My sister went into a panic and after I hopped out of the car and couldn’t get my kids’ doors open, I started screaming and calling on God. I thought to myself that there was no way God could allow us to be seriously hurt or worse, not after how much we were thanking him for everything, including life. 

Fear began to creep in

I knew at least one of my kids was hurt because she was bleeding. She was behind me on the drivers side. When we were hit she flew foward hitting her face against the back of my seat. I rushed to remove my four-year-old from her car seat. As I did this, a man tried to open the back passenger door to free my one-year-old son. I saw his attempt fail, then he frantically tried to break the glass, which he also wasn’t able to do. Another man came to the passenger side and waited for me to pass him my oldest. My three-year-old daughter, who was in the center of the backseat was next to get handed off to a complete stranger. My son was the last one to be freed from his car seat and once I got him out I ran around the front of the car into a ditch next to the crash. 

I couldn’t believe what was happening

There were so many people there helping us, giving us blankets, praying for us. The driver that we hit after being rear-ended was an EMT in training and he came over and checked all of my children. The cops and ambulance were there in no time. Part of me thinks that they might have been some of the crew that was already on their way to another emergency.

While being rushed to the ambulance, I saw the back of my car and thought, Thank you, God!  The trunk was gone and the backseat was so close to the front seat. I later found out that the backseat was pushed at least eight inches forward. The EMTs were shocked that we were alive, even conscious.

At the hospital, my three kids and I were all in a room together. My sister was rushed to the adult side of the hospital in an entirely separate building. Our bosses were at her side in less than thirty minutes. My coworker and friend, who we were taking food to, drove her beat-up car that hardly ever worked to the hospital to see us. She was there in about fifteen minutes. She looked weak from fighting off pneumonia but hey, she was in the right place if she thought she’d pass out. 

I believe in miracles

Going through something like that, you’d think it would be discouraging but it wasn’t. I believed, through faith, that we were going to be okay both physically and mentally. Almost instantly we were seeing blessings come. My boss bought us some groceries the day after the crash. Thirty minutes later my friend, who lived near us, brought us a care basket, and later that night we got food from the outreach center my sister volunteers at. We never lacked a ride to get important things done because someone was always offering to take us wherever we needed to go. My cousin even lent me her second car. We were never in true need. 

I feel that every bad thing can be turned into a blessing. We got to see how valued we were by the people around us and by strangers. One of the men that helped us even said he thought about not stopping, which people around here normally never stop to help victims of an accident. I believe the prayers of my sister who had jumped out of the car and dropped onto the grass to pray redirected him. I don’t think I’d be able to process the trauma of the accident, the loss of my vehicle, or the realness of mortality if not for my faith.

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In every situation, I pray and believe that all things are working out for my good. I don’t worry or let fear affect my beliefs. Faith has really been my coping mechanism and the only way I stay so optimistic even when things seem impossible. I can look back on my life and see how believing in good outcomes instead of being fearful has helped me to truly overcome all the negative experiences I’ve had. It’s not easy sometimes but I stand on a firm foundation of believing that faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen. If I have nothing else, my faith will be enough to carry me through anything. I believe in miracles and the goodness of God.

My confidence is sure

Whenever I feel mentally exhausted, because that does happen, I put on worship music and dance around with my kids and sister. I create joy in situations where there is none because weeping may last the night but joy comes in the morning(Psalm 30:5). I grip on to that hope. I’ve learned that even if I can’t control the chaos around me, I can control how I react to it.

The same way grapes are crushed for wine or olives are crushed for olive oil, I believe the moments where we are crushed is not the end but the beginning of a new and beautiful us. I’ve learned to find strength in times where I’m expected to be weak and frail. Giving up or caving into the pain of this world is not an option for me. Not because I think I’m undeserving of going through it but because I know that I’m not the first or the last and I’m going to make it out. 

There’s a certain level of confidence I have because of my faith. It’s not arrogance or a sense of entitlement. I genuinely believe in either a reason for things happening or a miraculous outcome from such events. It’s not easy to always see the bright sides of things but it is possible to. Everyone faces challenges and hardships in their lives, some more than others. Having a positive and optimistic outlook on life through faith is my driving force.

People always ask me how I manage to keep going and I simply say, “God.” Even the people that believe in God wonder, “That‘s it? There has to be something more.” With all the things I’ve been through it seems unfathomable to some that faith is the only thing I rely on to fight depression, anxiety, insecurities, and even hurt. Believe me, it’s a mental battle as much as it is a spiritual one.

I stand firm like a stubborn child who refuses to drink out of the wrong colored cup because I know sitting and wallowing in pain and sadness is the wrong cup to drink out of. Instead, I choose to be happy despite my circumstances. I choose to celebrate all the good I’ve been blessed with and overlook the bad. Sure, I have to fight the thoughts that say I shouldn’t be happy right now, that I shouldn’t rejoice. But I rebuke those thoughts and smile anyway; I press on. I have gained immense strength from a faith that says I can do all things through Christ that strengthens me(Philippians 4:13). That is all I need to know that I can and will make it through every difficult situation. 

As always, Hugs and Love!

 

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Mothers need support not judgement

Children, Motherhood, Parenting, Unity

 

Before we had kids, many of us had all these ideas in our heads of what motherhood would be like. We imagined our children and created their personalities in our minds. Truth is, there’s no build a child workshop. As much as our actions and teachings mold our kids, they come with their own personalities. 

Being a mom is hard. Sometimes I can’t help but feel bad when my kids are acting up and I pass another mom whose kids are calm and behaving. I want to whisper, “What’s your secret?” Honestly, there is no secret. Kids have good days and bad days. They have times where life seems to be a ray of sunshine and moments where they are completely overwhelmed. Throw in a missed nap and who knows how rough a quick trip to the grocery store might turn out. 

A while back, I had to pick up a few things from the store. My twin sister decided to stay with my kids while I shopped, lucky me. I shopped, as usual, enjoying a peaceful trip. No one to tell me they want some nasty cereal because their favorite character was on the box. No complaints about being touched by a sibling while they’re all in the cart because they get a little too friendly with strangers. 

After getting everything I needed, I headed for the self-checkout. In the distance, I could hear blood-curdling screams. I thought for a moment about the poor mom that had to be so stressed. I knew the feeling of trying to hurry up because my kids are crying at the top of their lungs. 

Even after I was done I could still hear crying. I saw some older ladies roll their eyes in disgust as I could only assume in the direction of the mother and child. As I headed to the exit, I glanced over to this family only to recognize them. It was a child from the daycare I worked at, a former student of mine. I thought about going on and minding my business but something in my heart wouldn’t let me. 

I went over to them. The mother was renting exercise equipment, an older brother around seven stood next to her, and the crying toddler sat in the front of the cart. I called the child’s name then greeted the mother. This two-year-old was not having it. He couldn’t have cared less about my existence at that moment. I thought to pick him up and maybe he’d calm down from being held but he used all his weight against me and even began to cry more. I felt defeated. I had no intention to make things worse. 

I wanted to leave right then but as I peered around at all the bad looks this mother was getting, I thought maybe I can’t make this little boy feel better but I can be some support for her. I started a conversation with this incredibly calm woman. She told me that he seemed to be getting sick. I suggested that maybe he was cranky because it was the time he’d be sleeping at daycare. She nodded and said that he recently got up from a nap but wasn’t sleeping well at home. It was amazing how I couldn’t hear his screaming anymore as I rubbed his back and talked with his mother. He hadn’t stopped crying, though it seemed that way. 

His mother added that his dad was away for football training and wouldn’t be back for a few months. Her mother concluded it had to be separation anxiety, that’s why being in a cart and not in his mother’s arms was so hard for him. It made me realize that there were probably so many similar stories or rational reasons for the seemingly obnoxious tantrums that kids throw. 

We said our goodbyes once she had the items she was renting. She left with a smile on her face. I saw her. Not as a mom with a screaming toddler but as my sister. I saw her as myself, a woman who was going through a tough time, and my kid was the external reaction to my internal feelings.

Sometimes we need to take a moment to put ourselves in someone else’s shoes. No judgments or harsh criticisms. Be there for the mommies in our circle or complete strangers who might be way too overwhelmed to force a smile on their face. Whenever we can, we need to let other moms know that we see them and that we get it. Being a mom is tough but we can all do this tough job with support from each other. 

Hey, mama.

Motherhood, Parenting

To the tired mom…You look great!
To the overwhelmed mom…You got this.
To the stressed mom…It’s going to be ok.
To the sad mom…Never stop smiling.

There are days when as a mother, I feel like I’ve lost total control. Truth is, I was trying to control things that couldn’t be controlled and forgetting to put energy into the things that could.

Broken down and tired, I decided not to obsess over the negative but rather focus on all the good.

I’m too tired to cook= Takeout it is.

My kids have been wild all day= If you can’t beat them join them. I’ll put on some music and we can all jump around.

I feel like a mess = Look, my kids are so happy.

I don’t feel like myself = *Thinks back to all the times my kids said I was the best mommy ever.*

Things can really get tough raising tiny humans but don’t give yourself a hard time over it. There’s no right answer on how to deal with motherhood and it’s ups and downs. You’re doing the best you can do and I bet your children are so greatful to have you. So, chin up and enjoy the chaos that will one day be just memories.

 

Looking in the rear view

Uncategorized

Today marks 1 month since my faith was seriously tested. On January 27, 2020 around 7:30pm I was driving with my sister and three young children. We were rear ended and then we hit the van in front of us. I can still remember the  disoriented feeling, the sent of intense heat and fumes. I cringe and shutter every time I think about it because it’s so vivid in my mind.

I remember looking behind of me and seeing my 4-year-old face full of blood, my 3-year-old looked fine, and my 1-year-old’s rear facing carseat was slightly elevated and his legs were dangling up in the air a bit. I later found out he had a bruise and cut on his forehead.

I couldn’t get the door behind me open and as I frantically began to undo my kids’ carseat buckles, a panicked man furiously tried to pry the other backdoor open. When that didn’t work he banged the glass in attempts to free my baby boy but nothing. I eventually handed my daughters one by one to strangers who waited by the passenger door. I held on to my son.

We huddled in a ditch next to the wreck. There were so many people there, helping, coving my kids with blankets, PRAYING OVER US. My son began to go limp in my arms. From crying and clutching me tightly, his grip loosened and his eyes began to roll back into his head. I thought, no God, NOT MY SON. I prayed, that was the only thing I could do in such a helpless moment. Some of our rescuers began to join me and my son gained back his strength.

Shortly after that, the man we hit came over and began checking my kids. He was an EMT in training. He checked them for any signs of trauma to their neck, ribs, and stomach. There was none. I just remember feeling so grateful that when the police arrived and asked if we were ok, I walked off and began shouting, “In Jesus name we are fine. God is good!”

I didn’t feel fear in that moment. Nothing in the world seemed to matter. All I could think about was how blessed we were to be alive. Seeing the car and feeling like we were hit with an explosion, I knew it wasn’t anything short of a Miracle.

My faith kept me sane in the crucial moments after the crash. So many questions come up after seeing the car. There was a lot of impossible things that happened that night.

33DDE787-2477-4BB8-9AB8-CC3EC685498B

Check out photos of the car Here

Hear more details Here

Please drive safe and NEVER drive distracted. We were blessed to literally walk out of that car alive.

We are all doing okay. Driving now does get me anxious but I can’t be afraid of being behind the wheel or even in a vehicle. Mentally, I have to pray everyday about the crash because I am traumatized. It’s a lot more mentally taxing than I anticipated. You never get over the event.

I just wanted to make a quick post so as always (HUGGZ & LOVE)

God’s blessings during a hard season

Encouraging, Faith, Uncategorized

 

I have been struggling lately. Between work and financial demands, I was just tired. I’m not at a point in my life where things get me down easily, so understand me when I say the last few weeks have been draining.

In the midst of it all, God reminded me to be faithful and not be shaken by all the chaos around me. I decided to pray it out and worship God in the storm. I brought flowers to work one day for a few coworkers, then a few days later had a bucket of chocolate for my coworkers to take from, and the next week I gave out flowers and cards to everyone. I truly believe that’s why God has been blessing me this week.

I got a financial blessing this past Wednesday, then Thursday I was blessed TWICE. One of the blessings was a Christmas tree. Being that money seemed to be getting pulled out from under my twin and I(we live together), we decided that a Christmas tree was a luxury and we honestly couldn’t afford it. But Thursday my sister got a call from our cousin, who is her best friend, saying that she bought us a tree and it was coming Saturday. The extra beauty of it is that that’s when I was to pick up presents from my church family for my kids!

God made it so we had a tree on the exact day I was going to get the gifts. It might seem simple, especially when so many horrible things are happening in the world, but I hang on to any little glimmers of hope that God is hearing my prayers and has not forsaken me. Do I need a few things, yes, but I know in due time God will bless me.

I hope that this brings encouragement to anyone having a hard time this Christmas season. Don’t worry about anything but PRAY ABOUT EVERYTHING! Don’t forget to click the link for the full testimony.

 

As always ((HUGS AND LOVE))

 

 

Listening ears on: God told me to visit my ex in-laws.

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Being human is hard. Add being a Christian and you have a whole list of rules and regulations you must follow in order to truly be a follower of Christ. Usually, especially now, doing the right thing and being sweet and kind has come easily. Even things that would trigger me, just goes over my head and I say a prayer in my mind, grin, and keep it moving. Last week however, I was thrown a curve ball that I really just wanted to dodge.

My ex told me that his parents were going to be cooking a big meal and asked if the kids and I would come over. Without hesitation, I said NO. I mean, why would I? Besides the fact that I’d have to drive over 45 minutes, I’d have to come in close contact with the family of the man I abruptly left in the middle of the night, with a week’s worth of clothing, and my kids. It wasn’t exactly a peaceful breakup and I found myself on the hated end of the stick. His father had a lot to say about me in the past and would quickly jump on social media in defense of his son, whenever I was the topic of a falsified rant.

I insisted that I had no business going there and I prayed to God that some crazy occurrence would happen so it would be set in stone that I couldn’t go. Be careful what you pray for because four days later a tropical storm came through AND a tornado happened 9 minutes away from us. We were obviously spared and I thought that was God’s answer to my prayers– no honestly! You want to know something? It wasn’t.

My ex told me he would be getting out of work early so he could take us if I didn’t feel like driving. I told him that was great because that meant he could take the kids and leave me out of the equation. He seemed hurt and told me not to be that way. They weren’t my family and I remember how dysfunctional it was when all of us lived together. I did not want to go so I purposely ignored all my ex’s text after that.

You know, God works in very BLUNT ways and as I headed to the bathroom I heard, “Go” in a vey soft voice. Now, don’t call the luny bin on me but I heard it clearly. I remember saying, “yeah right, God. You would never want me to go there.” I then saw a vision of me walking into their home and a voice said, “Go, so they can see all I’ve done for you. Go to be a light. ” Guys, I laughed so hard and said NO! Then I tried to convince myself that I was the one creating the instructions that I had but when I said the word “Go” in my mind it sounded different from what I first heard. This was not something I wanted to be obedient to. I didn’t want to feel uncomfortable and I didn’t want to break bread with my ex’s family.

When my ex arrived, I grabbed my purse and roughly told him to hurry up and let’s go. He was shocked but he got up from the chair quickly and we headed to me car. Once we were all buckled and ready to go, my ex thanked me for going. I heard a voice say, “I told you.” I rolled my eyes and replied ok God, of course in my head because I didn’t want to sound crazy. 😂

The drive down was actually enjoyable and I didn’t find myself ready to jump out the car or complain to the heavens. But when we got to his parents house I found myself feeling uncomfortable and nervous. My girls rushed inside and I bought myself time by getting my son out of his carseat. Surprisingly, I was greeted genuinely and asked if I wanted some food and my ex made me a plate. I can’t even lie, for a second I thought they were trying to poison me so I asked my kids if they wanted some food and when no one screamed out “No”, I knew that the food wasn’t unsafe to eat.

I stayed for maybe an hour and a half and I watched as my kids enthusiastically ran around and played with the side of their family they hadn’t seen for so long. I felt relieved. My kids were so happy and I felt good. I talked with everyone and at no point did I want to run for the door. When I left I almost felt sad. His dad thanked me for coming and said we could do something for Christmas if I had no plans.

Before last Sunday, I had so much anger towards my ex father in-law. I was upset because he knew what I went through with his son and he completely turned against me when I left. I was mad and hurt and really wanted nothing to do with him ever again. Visiting him was a healing moment for me. It thought me forgiveness in a way I did think I needed. There is so much truth in forgiveness being for you and not the other person. I was released from the grip of anger.

If there’s anyone you need to forgive, whether they said you an open invitation or not, forgive them. Listen to the voice inside that sounds crazy because it goes against every logical thing you believe in. I listened to God and went somewhere I DID NOT want to go and it ended up being a beautiful moment for me.

I hope you liked this post and as always Hugs and Love!